Meteora
by RavensWood
Summary: Collection of song fics centered around Linkin Park's Meteora album. Eventual MichaelLiz, BrodyMaria pairings. Summaries inside each chapter. R&R! Rating to be safe for future chpts.
1. With No Apologies

**Meteora**

**Part 1: With No Apologies**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Roswell. All original characters and concepts are the property of someone other than me. The lyrics are from Linkin Park's Meteora album and are also not mine.

**Category:** Liz POV

**Summary:** Liz does some thinking over winter break.

**Author's Note:** I was driving in my car listening to Linkin Park's Meteora album when it hit me that a lot of the songs could be used as a backdrop to how certain characters felt. Hopefully this will be the first story in a series of stories I plan to write (I hope to make one for each of the other characters).

**Author's Note 2:** Because I didn't like a lot of the things that happened in season 3 the only things that happened for the purpose of this story (these stories?) are Isabel and Jesse's wedding, Maria and Michael breaking up, Liz getting her powers, Max dying and coming back to life, and Michael becoming the king and Max taking it back. Liz and Max getting back together, Tess coming back with the baby, and the gang leaving Roswell never happened.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Liz tried to do some studying. She wanted to get a head start on the following semester. She was on winter break from Harvard. It was weird sitting here in her old room. She had only finished her third semester of college, but this was the first time she had been back to Roswell in over a year. She had stayed at Harvard over the summer, opting to take summer classes instead of going home. She felt she just needed to stay away for a while.

At first, she felt relieved to be home and back at the Crashdown. That was, until Max Evans showed up. She was helping her father wipe down the counter when he came in. She caught his eye for a moment but quickly darted out the back, muttering to her father that the jet-lag was catching up to her and that she didn't want to be disturbed. She thought she was ready to face Max, that the time spent apart would be good for him, that he would finally be over her, but the look in his eyes told her he wasn't. Ever since Tess's betrayal he had tried to get her back. She guessed that since she had "betrayed" Max with Kyle, Max thought his betrayal of Liz with Tess put them even with each other. But Liz hadn't really betrayed Max, and he knew it!

She couldn't concentrate on her studying with all these thoughts of Max in her head. And the way she left things back in Boston with Michael wasn't helping either. All she wanted was for him to come home to Roswell with her. Maybe it wasn't the ideal place for him as it was for her but she had still expected him to come with her. Over the last year he had become her rock. After he joined her in Boston, going to art school not a mile away from her the two had become increasingly inseparable. He was her best friend these days. Liz was beginning to think that maybe he could be more than just a friend, but that was just a thought. There was no way Michael would ever think of her that way. Still, it hurt that he had stayed back at school.

'_I'll just put on some music'_ Liz thought. She rummaged through her suitcase until she found her CD case. But when she opened it, she was shocked to find that these weren't her CDs.

"Dammit, Trixie!" she said out loud. Her roommate Trixie had bought matching CD cases for the both of them. Liz had to laugh. 'Trixie' may have seemed like a Barbie-girl name, but Trixie was far from it. She was a border-line Goth/Rock chick. Despite their different tastes in music, the two got along great and had a lot of things in common.

Liz sighed and flipped through the CDs anyway. Nothing was really catching her eye, until she came to the Linkin Park section. Liz had to admit, that Chester guy really had a set of pipes on him. She popped in "Meteora". As the beginning notes came on, Liz felt a sort of ease settle over her, as she listened to the lyrics, her thoughts began to fall into place…

_Sometimes I_

_Need to remember just to breath_

_Sometimes I_

_Need you to stay away from me_

_Sometimes I'm_

_In disbelief, I didn't know_

_Somehow I_

_Need you to go_

It was exactly how Liz felt. It was like she had forgotten how to breathe when she was with Max. That was why she went to Harvard; it was as far away as she could get from Max without a passport.

_Don't stay_

_Forget out memories_

_Forget our possibilities_

_What you were changing me into_

_Just give me myself back and_

_Don't stay_

She just wanted him to forget what they had once had together. The possibility of a future together, for Liz, did not exist.

_Forget our memories_

_Forget our possibilities_

_Take all your faithlessness with you_

_Just give me myself back and_

_Don't stay_

That was it; Max had no faith in her. How could he when he so easily believed she had slept with Kyle. He didn't even put up a fight with the exception of the incident in Copper Summit; he barely tried to get her to say it wasn't so.

_Sometimes I_

_Feel like I trusted you to well_

_Sometimes I_

_Just feel like screaming at myself_

_Sometimes I'm_

_In disbelief I didn't know_

_Somehow I _

_Need to be alone_

He saved her life, so she just placed her trust in him. It just seemed like the right thing to do. She could just scream at herself for all she had put up with from him. Every time things got intense, when she wanted to take a step forward, he took two back.

_Don't stay_

_Forget our memories_

_Forget our possibilities_

_What you were changing me into_

_Just give me myself back and_

_Don't stay_

_Forget our memories_

_Forget our possibilities_

_Take all your faithlessness with you_

_Just give me myself back and_

_Don't stay_

She felt that Max had not only altered her physically, but that he had tried to change who she was. It dawned on her that Max was out of her system. He had been for a long time.

_I don't need you anymore_

She didn't need him to prove herself.

_I don't want to be ignored_

He had ignored the person she wanted to be, always trying to bend her to his will, like when Alex died. He tried to get her to quit her investigation. And even when he came back in time, again he was asking her to give up something. She was always giving up something, always sacrificing a piece of herself for him. But it ended tonight. Tonight she would finally be able to look Max in the eye and tell him…

_I don't need one more day _

_Of you wasting me away…_

_With No Apologies._

But the more she thought about who she did trust…

_Don't stay_

_Forget our memories_

About who trusted her…the memory of a young man standing way too close to her as he handed her journal back…

_Forget our possibilities_

_What you were changing me into_

The one person who hadn't tried to change her, the one who let her be herself…

_Just give me myself back and_

_Don't stay_

_Forget our memories_

Giving her journal back, _"Thanks for giving me one more reason to envy Max Evans"_…the look he gave Max when she showed up after telling Max he was only thinking about what _he_ had to lose in Roswell…trying to apologize for anything Hank had done to her when she told him about Topolsky…pulling her close after Max had been taken off to the White Room…telling her they'd figure out what to do after the congresswoman's death…she would never forget all that…

_Forget our possibilities_

The way he grabbed her instead of Maria when he found them in the street in Las Cruces…the look in his eyes when he got rid of the booby trap…his hand wrapping around her wrist trying to take her back to Roswell…

_Take all your faithlessness with you_

But he was never faithless with her. He had proven time and time again that he did trust her. If he didn't then he never would have asked for her help with school…

_Just give me myself back and_

_Don't stay_

Could there be a possibility of her and Michael?

_Don't stay_

Without even realizing it she had let him into her heart. It wasn't because she thought it was the next logical step, like it had been with Kyle or because she thought she owed him, like with Max…

_Don't stay_

She wanted him to stay with her simply because he was Michael.

**The End.**

Well, that's my story. Sorry to all you Liz and Max fans out there, but I never understood how she could just forgive him for what he did. Feedback will be appreciated and tell me if you would want to read another story about one of the other characters.


	2. I Was Confused

Meteora Part 2:

**I Was Confused**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Roswell, someone else does. The lyrics are from Linkin Park's Meteora album and are also not mine.

**Category:** Isabel's POV

**Summary:** Isabel's thoughts on the secret she's been keeping from Jesse.

**Author's Note:** For the purposes of this story, Jesse finding out about Isabel in season three didn't happen. The song is "Somewhere I Belong" By Linkin Park

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isabel was just putting away the dishes. Liz had come over and the two had talked for over two hours over lunch. They talked about everything, from school to family. The topic of Max, or course, came up. Liz had only sighed.

"Yeah, I have to talk to him before I go back," Liz said flatly. "I have to tell him that it really is over between us."

"Is there someone else?" Isabel asked.

"No," Liz replied, "it's just that I've grown up and apart from Max. For the first time, in a long time, I feel like I'm finally where I belong. I finally feel like I'm living my life, not just dealing with it, you know what I mean?"

Isabel knew exactly what she meant. Since Max had taken the birthright back from Michael, they swore to leave all the alien stuff behind them. Of course, they had to help teach Liz, and later on Kyle how to control and handle their powers. Jim Valenti still hadn't developed any alien abilities yet, but it had taken Liz and Kyle each a little over two years since they were healed for their powers to emerge so Jim might only have a few months left before he got them too.

It meant leaving behind everything, the chance to tell Jesse about what they were was left behind as well. It had been decided, by Max and Michael, not to tell Jesse unless Isabel became pregnant, and even then only if it looked like the pregnancy was more alien than human. When Michael went ballistic on Jesse, Isabel had to lie to him once again.

"What did he mean when he said you were his first?" Jesse had asked after he regained consciousness.

"Oh, you know, Michael and I were both abandoned as children. We grew up together, just me, Max, and Michael. Growing up, everyone thought there might be something between me and Michael…Michael's just always been very protective of me is all." They told him that Michael had gotten drunk after an argument with Maria and just started going off on everyone. Isabel was glad Jesse didn't remember exactly how he had gotten thrown against the wall. She had had a hard enough time trying to convince him that the gunshot wound she received during the Meta-Chem incident didn't require medical attention. Sometimes, she wondered what would have happened if Michael hadn't pushed her out of the way. Instead of the bullet going into her arm it might have hit somewhere worse. Jim had been able to hold Jesse back long enough for her to almost completely heal the wound. She didn't heal it all the way because Jesse had seen her get hit and there was blood on her jacket.

Isabel rubbed her arm absently. The bullet was still in there. It had been over a year and a half ago. She wondered why she just didn't have Max remove it for her. As she wiped off the table, she noticed Liz's purse on the back of the chair. Isabel grabbed it, along with her own purse, and the keys to her car. As she drove, she flipped on the radio. She didn't pay attention to the station; she just turned it on for a background distraction. As the song ended and the next came on Isabel turned up the volume.

"Oh, I **LOVE** this one," she exclaimed as she began to sing along.

"When this began,

I had nothing to say

And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me

I was confused

And I let it all out to find, that I'm

Not the only person with these things in mind

Inside of me

But all the vacancy the words revealed

Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel

Nothing to lose

Just stuck, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own

And the fault is my own."

****

Isabel had heard this song a hundred times before, but something about it today spoke to her. She continued to sing, but she paid closer attention to the words.

****

"I want to heal

I want to feel

What I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I've held so long

Erase all the pain 'til it's gone

It's gone

I want to heal

I want to feel

Like I'm close to something real

I want to find something I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong."

****

Isabel stopped singing along. Liz's earlier words came back to her.

"_**For the first time, in a long time, I feel like I'm finally where I belong."**_

In the background of Isabel's thoughts, the song continued to play.

****

_And I've got nothing to say_

_I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face_

_I was confused_

_Looking everywhere only to find that it's _

_Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind_

_So what am I_

****

Isabel thought about what she was, an alien human hybrid, with a human husband who was clueless to what she was. What did that make her? A liar.

****

_What do I have but negativity_

_Cause I can't justify the _

_Way everyone is looking at me_

_Nothing to lose_

_Nothing to gain/Hollow and alone_

_And the fault is my own_

_And the fault is my own_

****

As the chorus played out, Isabel was lost in thought. She was hollow and felt alone. She had a husband and she had her family, but she was alone. Even though they weren't together anymore, Max and Michael had had Liz and Maria. Isabel had had Alex, but she lost him. Kyle had his dad, but she had no one. She just knew that if she could tell Jesse, then things would be much better. She wouldn't have to lie anymore or cut conversations short around him anymore.

"_**I feel like I'm finally where I belong."**_

_I will never know _

_Myself until I do this on my own_

****

She had let Michael and Max corral her into silence, forcing her to remain hushed. She had to decide this on her own.

****

_And I will never feel_

_Anything else until my wounds are healed_

****

She carried around the wounds of Alex ever since his death. It was the main reason she convinced herself that Michael and Max were right about not telling Jesse. She didn't want to put him in harm's way. But couldn't not telling him put him in even more danger?

"_**I'm finally where I belong."**_

_I will never be_

_Anything 'til I break away from me_

_And I will break away_

_I'll find myself today…_

****

Isabel came to a decision. Max and Michael be damned. She loved Jesse and she had to tell him. For better or worse, Jesse deserved to know the truth. As Isabel looked up, she found she was at the Crashdown. Liz was just about to step into her car as she saw Isabel pull up.

"Isabel!" Liz yelled out. Isabel barely put the car in park before jumping out. She didn't even turn the car off, the song still playing in the background.

"Liz, I have something to tell you," Isabel burst out. She told Liz what she planned to do. Liz nodded her head and smiled at Isabel.

"Well? What do you think?" Isabel asked nervously.

"Well," Liz began. "If it's what you feel you have to do, then go for it. I just, I wish you the best, Isabel." Liz hugged Isabel. Isabel smiled at Liz as she got into her car and headed home.

"…_**where I belong."**_

Isabel would finally heal her wounds with the truth.

****

_I want to heal_

_I want to feel like I'm_

_Somewhere I belong_

_Somewhere I belong…_

****

Tonight she would tell Jesse, because, like Liz, she too had finally found where she belonged. She belonged with Jesse.

The End.


	3. Opening the Wound

**Meteora Part 3: Opening the Wound**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Roswell, someone else does. The lyrics are from Linkin Park's Meteora album and are also not mine.

**Category:** Maria POV

**Summary:** Maria returns to Roswell from UCLA. She has a meager singing career and hasn't been back to Roswell in over a year and a half.

**Author's Note:** The story is part of a series of stories I'm writing centered on Linkin Park's Meteora album. The whole timeline of the series takes place over a two and a half week period during Christmas break 2003. This is the third story; it takes place on day five. Meteora: With No Apologies (Liz POV) is first and it is set on the evening of the first day, followed by Meteora: I Was Confused (Isabel's POV) taking place on day three.

**Author's Note 2:** I did a pick and choose of what happened from season 3. Liz and Max getting back together, Tess bringing the baby back, and the gang leaving Roswell never happened. The song is Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

She didn't think it would be this hard to come back. As she stared out the bus window, she thought about all the things she left behind. Her mom, her home, her friends. Liz. That had been the hardest thing for her to give up, her friendship with Liz. They had gone to opposite ends of the country in hope of escaping the memories of high school. Sure, they had had a lot of good times, they had had fun, but they also had had a lot of pain and heartache.

Alex.

Maria clutched the guitar case closer. It was one of the few things she had taken with her to California. She had tried to leave it behind, but she just couldn't. In the end, she left Roswell, suitcase in one hand, guitar case in the other. Liz and Maria had tried, in the beginning, to remain close, but it just didn't last. Neither of them had come home last Christmas and that was when she realized how much they had drifted apart. When she, Alex, and Liz had graduated from middle school, they had it all planned out. Liz was going to become a prestigious microbiologist, Alex was going to go to MIT, and Maria was going to become a famous actress-slash-singer-slash-song writer. Every Christmas, they were going to come home to Roswell and catch up with each other, and every summer they would spend with Maria on the set of her latest movie or in the recording studio.

It didn't happen that way at all. After they learned about the "aliens among us" things had gone askew. All plans for the future were thrown out the window. Every time some alien thing came up they weren't even sure they would have a future. Alex turned out to be the one with no future. He died, because of the aliens. They were all put in danger when Brody went berserk, because of the aliens. Sean almost got sent back to prison for helping Liz, because of the aliens. Liz and Kyle were different now, because of the aliens. They had all been through a lot, because of the aliens. But try as she might, she couldn't really blame Max, Michael, and Isabel for all these things. They didn't ask to be genetically engineered half human-half aliens. But Tess, she could blame Tess. Alex died because she mind warped him too much. She used him and she killed him when he tried to go to the others. Maria could definitely blame Tess.

Maria leaned back in her seat. They were only about an hour away from Roswell. As her thoughts stilled she picked up the sound of the music coming from the headphones of the guy sitting across the aisle. She smiled absently. She recognized the music. It was Linkin Park's Meteora album; her roommate listened to Linkin Park constantly.

"_He must be half deaf"_ Maria thought as she could clearly hear the music.

_Memories consume_

_Like opening the wound_

_I'm picking me apart again_

_You all assume_

_I'm safe here in my room_

_Unless I try to start again_

With the constant drum of the tires on the pavement, a sort of quietness settled over Maria, but it was not a peaceful quiet. Slowly, Maria's memories began to consume her. They invaded her mind, and she was powerless to stop them. Her coming back to Roswell was like opening up old wounds.

_I don't want to be the one_

_The battles always choose_

'_Cause inside I realize_

_That I'm the one confused_

She had been so confused when she left. All these things happening to her had finally come to a head when Michael got the birthright. She was contemplating her place in the whole thing and when he threw her out of the car, she made her decision. She wanted out.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for _

_Or why I have to scream_

_I don't know why I instigate_

_And say what I don't mean_

_I don't know how I got this way _

_I know it's not alright_

_So, I'm_

_Breaking the habit_

_Tonight_

Maria knew how she got this way. The aliens. She came into the group and became involved with Michael. Time and time again, he tried to push her away, but they kept getting back together. Towards the end, she tried to hold on as tightly as she could, but she only managed to push him away from her.

_Clutching my cure_

_I tightly lock the door_

_I try to catch my breath again_

_I hurt much more _

_Than anytime before_

_I had no options left again_

_I don't want to be the one _

_The battles always choose_

'_Cause inside I realize_

_That I'm the one confused_

She had clung to her music, trying to use it as a method of escape. But she had gone back to Roswell with Liz and Max after the Meta-Chem incident.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for_

_Or why I have to scream _

_I don't know why I instigate_

_And say what I don't mean_

_I don't know how I got this way_

_I'll never be alright_

_So I'm_

_Breaking the habit_

_Tonight_

Slowly, Maria realized that she had kept herself in it. Knowing the aliens made her life exciting. She came home with Liz and Max because she found that life in the "normal" world could be just as cruel as life in Roswell. If she had to have pain and cruelty in her life, she would face it headlong, in the company of her friends.

_I'll paint it on the walls_

'_Cause I'm the one at fault_

She understood now that she was being unreasonable. She had practically beaten the truth out of Liz in the beginning. She was the one who forced Michael out of his stonewall prison. It was her own fault for being in the whole Czech thing in the first place. No, not fault. Her choice, it was her choice to be involved.

_I'll never fight again_

_And this is how it ends_

Nearly two years of denial and torment ended in a heartbeat. She had made sacrifices and had been put in danger, but that was life. With or without the Czechs, life was about risks and taking chances.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for_

_Or why I have to scream_

_But now I have some clarity_

_To show you what I mean_

Maria knew what was worth fighting for. Her friends, her family, the bond that had formed between them all were definitely things worth fighting for.

_I don't know how I got this way_

_I'll never be alright_

Maria knew things would never be absolutely normal again. But that was a good thing. And she was alright with that. What had happened to her had only caused her to grow up a little faster. She had gotten into the habit of thinking it was a bad thing, that she would have been better off not knowing about them, but in reality, her life would have been pretty boring without the Czechs. And lonely, even though she lost Alex, without Max and the others, she would have lost Liz. Maria closed her eyes and smiled as she listened to the rest of the song. Tonight she would be home, and for the first time, in a long time, she felt at peace.

_So I'm _

_Breaking the habit_

_I'm breaking the habit_

_I'm breaking the habit_

_Tonight._

The End.


	4. A Part of Me

**Meteora Part 4: A Part of Me**

**Summary:** Michael graduates from high school later than everyone else. He asks Liz for help in putting together his college applications. She suggests art school; he applies and is accepted into the Massachusetts College of Art, not far from Harvard Medical School. Liz tries to convince Michael to go back to Roswell but he refuses. They argue; she leaves. A few days later Michael follows her. This is day six of an eighteen day time-line between fall and spring semester 2003-2004. .

**Author's Note:** I am a polarist at heart. I didn't even know that that was where this story was headed until I wrote this part. I edited Liz's part after I wrote this part to suit the polar pairing, so anyone who read this story when it was on AlienBlast would notice the difference.

**Author's Note 2:** Only some things from season 3 happened. I don't feel like writing them all here again, if you don't remember, please read the author's notes from the first three chapters, With No Apologies, I Was Confused, and Opening the Wound. The song is Linkin Park's Figure .09.

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

Michael could kick himself in the butt. Two days on the road and he forgot to bring his CDs.

"Lousy radio stations," he muttered out loud. He had been in such a hurry to leave that he hadn't thought about the music. He was going back to Roswell, a place he thought he left behind him. He had watched all his friends going off to different parts of the country, going off to college, and he realized that he didn't want to stay in Roswell anymore. He sucked in his pride and went to summer school and the first semester of the following school year. He studied his butt off and did remarkably well. When the time came to apply to college, he didn't know what to do. He thought about whom to go to but kept drawing a blank. It wasn't until one of his shifts at the Crashdown that he figured out who to go to. Liz.

Mr. Parker had answered the phone in the break room and was talking to Liz when Michael walked in. Mr. Parker told Liz that he was there and then told Michael that Liz said hi. It hit Michael then that Liz was the perfect person to help him. He asked Mr. Parker if he could talk to Liz. She was surprised to hear from him, but she had agreed to help.

"_Michael?" She asked. _

"_Yeah, Liz," Michael replied. _

"_Why'd you want my help? Why not just go to Max or Isabel?"_

"_Cause I know I can trust you. I didn't want to deal with Max being all controlling or with Isabel being all over bearing. I knew you'd help me and not be all judgmental about it."_

During one of their telephone calls Liz had mentioned art school.

"_You really think so?" He asked_

"_Yeah, I know how much you like it and you were always very good at it." _

He hadn't told her about applying until after he was accepted into the Massachusetts College of Art, an art school only about half a mile away from Harvard Medical School where Liz was attending.

"_Michael, that's so great!" She had exclaimed. Her joy made Michael blush. He couldn't explain why her approval meant so much to him. _

"_Yeah, we won't be that far apart…maybe we could hang out on the weekends or something…if you're not too busy."_

"_Yeah…that'd be nice."_

After the first few months, he and Liz were closer than he ever thought they could possibly be. Without all the others around he found he could be more open with her than anyone else. Neither of them had gone back for spring break or the summer break. Whenever he wasn't with Liz or in class, he was studying, trying to make up for his missed semester. He had to admit, he was proud of himself, he was doing very well.

That was until Liz decided to go back to Roswell for Christmas. She tried to get him to go back with her, but he had refused.

"_Come on, Michael, it's been a year since you were there. Don't you want to see Isabel and Max?" _

"_You want to see HIM, don't you?" Michael countered. "Even after everything he did to you, all the things he put you through, you still want to see him?" _

Liz and Michael had become so close that she had even told him about Max coming back in time, something she had never told Max. Michael and Maria were the only two people who knew about it.

"_Michael, it's not about Max, okay. I miss my parents, I miss Roswell, I haven't been there in nearly a year and a half, and I probably will have to talk to Max, but he's not the reason I want to go back." Michael grunted. Liz sighed. "Why don't you want to go back?" _

"_There's nothing there for me anymore."_

That was seven days ago. The following day, she got on a plane and went back. Three days later, he found a picture of the two of them at a carnival during spring break. He realized how mean and vicious he had been to her. He missed her. The following morning, he packed a bag of clothes, hopped into his truck and took off to Roswell. If he didn't stop overnight again, he could make it to Roswell by three in the morning.

The voice from the radio permeated his thoughts.

"And here's that one from Linkin Park I've been promising you. This is Figure.09."

"Finally, something semi-listenable," Michael muttered.

_**Nothing ever stops all these thoughts**_

_**And the pain attached to them**_

_**Sometimes I wonder why this is happening**_

_**It's like nothing I can do **_

_**Will distract me when**_

_**I think of how I shot myself in the back again**_

_**Cause from all the infinite words I could say/ I **_

_**Put all the pain you gave to me on**_

_**Display/ But didn't**_

_**Realize/ Instead of setting it free/ I **_

_**Took what I hated and made it a part of me**_

He hated how he had spoken to Liz. It wasn't her fault he didn't want to go back. It was everything else but her.

_**It never goes away**_

_**And now**_

_**You've become a part of me**_

_**You'll always be right here**_

_**You've become a part of me**_

**_You'll always be my fear_**

_**I can't separate myself from**_

_**What I've done**_

_**I've given up a part of me**_

_**I've let myself become you**_

His memories of Roswell frightened him. His abusive childhood, years of running from the FBI, his relationship with Maria, being Max's second, killing Pierce, nearly killing Jesse. When he was young, he wanted nothing more than to find his home. As he grew, he just wanted to belong. He began to hate his alien half. He never asked to be half alien, never asked to be second to Max.

_**Hearing your name/ The memories**_

_**Come back again**_

_**I remember when it started happening**_

_**I'd see you in every thought I had and then**_

_**The thoughts slowly found words **_

_**Attached to them**_

_**And I knew as they escaped away I was**_

**_Committing myself to them/And every day I _**

_**Regret saying those things/ 'Cause now**_

_**I see/ that I **_

_**Took what I hated and made it a part of me**_

_**It never goes away**_

_**Never goes away**_

He knew it was true when he read Liz's journal years ago, he knew it when Max got dragged off to the white room, and he knew it after spending so much time with Liz. Max never knew or appreciated what he had. He had had Liz, but he took her for granted. Michael hated how Max had treated her. But, he knew that he had just treated her the same way. He had pushed her feelings aside to suit himself, just like Max had done time and time again.

_**And now**_

_**You've become a part of me**_

_**You'll always be right here**_

_**You've become a part of me**_

_**You'll always be my fear**_

_**I can't separate myself from**_

_**What I've done**_

_**Giving up a part of me**_

_**I've let myself become you**_

It was the thing Michael feared the most, he was becoming like Max. He had taken Liz for granted. He had become like Maria, he had tried to guilt her into changing her mind.

_**It never goes away**_

_**Never goes away**_

_**It never goes away**_

_**It never goes away**_

What he hated about Max had become a part of him

_**Get away from**_

_**ME**_

He had to push his wounded pride aside

_**Gimme my space back/ you gotta just**_

_**GO**_

He had to push past the pain of his memories

_**Everything comes down to memories of**_

_**YOU**_

All the time he spent with Maria left him scarred

_**I've kept it in but now I'm letting you**_

_**KNOW**_

She had been what he needed to get out of his stonewall prison, but that was then

_**I've let you go**_

He let it all go, Maria's constant badgering, Max's controlling nature, Isabel's smothering

_**So, GET AWAY FROM ME**_

_**Give me my space back/ you gotta just**_

_**GO**_

He let go of it all, save one thing

_**Everything comes down to memories of**_

_**YOU**_

Liz

_**I've kept it in but now I'm letting you**_

_**KNOW**_

He hadn't even been able to admit it to himself

_**I've let you go**_

He may have let her leave without him, but he was going to fix that mistake

_**And now**_

_**You've become a part of me**_

_**You'll always be right here**_

Liz had gotten in, without even trying she had become a part of him

_**You've become a part of me**_

_**You'll always be my fear**_

She was why he was going back to Roswell, he was afraid of disappointing her

_**I can't separate myself from**_

_**What I've done**_

He was half alien, he had done things he wished he hadn't, and he would just have to deal with it

_**Giving up a part of me**_

_**I've let myself become you**_

Michael knew he was giving up a part of himself for Liz. He was giving up his self-doubt, He was letting go of his self-hatred, and he was finally breaking down the last pieces of his stonewall

_**I've let myself become you**_

_**I've let myself become lost inside these**_

_**Thoughts of you**_

He realized that his friendship with Liz had grown into something more. He had lost his way, but he found Liz. She didn't order him, like Max would have, she didn't try to change him, like Maria had, and she didn't lead him by the hand and baby him, like Isabel would have. She let him find his own way

_**Giving up a part of me**_

_**I've let myself become you**_

Maybe they would never have the kind of relationship Michael was beginning to wish they could have, but he could have her friendship. And that, for now, was enough.

The End.


	5. Trying to Bend the Truth

Meteora Part 5: Trying To Bend the Truth

By: MidKnightJinx

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Roswell. I'm just a fan writing a fic for entertainment purposes only. The song is by Linkin Park and is also not mine.

**Category:** Kyle's POV

**Author's Note:** If you've read the previous four stories (chapters) you know that I did a pick and choose of what happened from season 3. In this part, I added something. Amy and Jim become very involved and end up getting married a month before Maria and Kyle graduate from high school.

**Author's Note 2:** This is the fifth story of the Meteora series and takes place on day 8. The song is "Lying From You" from Linkin Park's Meteora Album.

**Author's Note 3:** I'm not entirely happy with this part but after a few attempts this was the best I could do. I was thinking about letting this story die, but I have always held to the belief that if there is even one person out there who wants to read your story that it is your duty as an author to keep going. And after I got a review from Claddagh about 3 and a half weeks ago I decided to continue it.

This chapter is dedicated to Claddagh, without whose kick in the butt (A.K.A. Review) this story would have been lost to the abyss of never completed. There's no polar in this chapter but I hope you like it anyway.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Kyle batted his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for the light to turn green. He was on his way to the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner. Amy and Jim were going out tonight to celebrate the two year anniversary of their engagement. Christmas Eve, two years ago, Jim had asked Amy to marry him. They had planned to marry in August, before Kyle and Maria started college, but all the alien craziness that went on in the following few months caused Jim to come home one evening with the crazy plan to take the four of them to Vegas and get married there. Amy, just as unconventional as ever, loved the idea. So off to Vegas they went.

I was supposed to be fun. But for Maria and Kyle the memories of their previous trip to Vegas proved to be too much. It brought up all the painful things that had happened to them. Kyle had to admit that Maria had taken it harder than he had. After their graduation, Maria and Kyle gladly left Roswell. Maria had gone two days after graduation. Kyle waited out the summer, not wanting Amy to get the wrong impression. So Kyle was shocked, to say the least, when he received a call from Maria asking if he was going home for Christmas break. Unlike Maria, Kyle had come back last Christmas and this past summer.

She had only been back for a few days, but they had fallen back in to their old patterns. Before Jim and Amy got married, Kyle and Maria had spent a great deal of time together away from the amorous couple. They knew each other's little habits and dislikes like they had known each other their whole lives.

_"You seem cheerful," Kyle asked her the second day. _

_"I am. It's __kinda__ weird to be back, after all this time, but it's nice." _

_"Yeah, it's nice to have you back."_

_"__Aww__, you're so sweet," Maria said as she jumped on his back._

_"Hey!" Kyle yelled out. They stumbled across the living, collapsing on the couch, laughing until their sides hurt. When they had settled down, Maria's face went serious. _

_"I was actually terrified at first to come back here," she said. Kyle picked up her hand and squeezed it. _

_"What made you change your mind?"_

_"I don't know. I was on the bus over here and I just had this…epiphany, you know, it just struck me."_

Kyle was snapped back to attention at the blaring horn behind him. He went to the grocery store and was on his way home when he was stopped by a traffic accident. He almost laughed as he saw the little old lady amble her way over to the other driver and start hitting him over the head repeatedly with her cane.

He turned on the radio and heard the familiar CD playing. He listened to the first song halfway through before forwarding it to the second. Nope, didn't want to hear that one either. Third song was better…

_**When I pretend**_

_**Everything is what I want it to be**_

_**I look exactly like what you had always**_

_**Wanted to see**_

_**When I pretend**_

_**I can forget about the criminal I am**_

**_Stealing __second after second__ just 'cause _**

_**I know I can/But**_

_**I can't pretend this is the way **_

_**It will stay/I'm just**_

_**Trying to bend the truth **_

_**I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be**_

_**So I'm**_

_**Lying my way from you…**_

But as he listened, he realized he was different now, Maria was different too. From the time of Tess's betrayal, things had started to become unraveled. Hell, from the time Max healed him things had become unraveled. He was captain of the football team, all around sports jock. But when Max healed him, he became…different…

_**No, no turning back now**_

**_I __wanna__ be pushed aside _**

_**So let me go**_

_**No, no turning back now**_

_**Let me take back my life**_

_**I'd rather be all alone**_

_**No turning back now**_

_**Anywhere on my own**_

_**'Cause I can see**_

_**No, no turning back now**_

_**The very worst part of you **_

_**Is me…**_

What was it now that was bringing all this up? Maria was back and they had been each others' friend before. So why were these old feelings coming back. Liz. She was back too. His once, long ago girlfriend and his stepsister back at the same time. Of course the memories of the I-Know-An-Alien-Club would come back. More than that, he and Liz also belonged to the Almost-Died-Brought-Back-By-An-Alien-Club…

_**I remember what they taught to me**_

_**Remember condescending talk**_

**_Of __who__ I ought to be_**

_**Remember listening to all of that **_

_**And this again**_

_**So I pretended up a person who was fitting in…**_

Kyle had changed his whole life after Max healed him. He stopped hanging around his sports buddies, he stopped going to his sports altogether. It all became about the aliens, the Royal Four. He was sucked into a world that he never knew existed, nor did he want to, a world that gave him his life, but asked for his all in return…

_**And now you think this person**_

_**Really is me and I'm**_

_**Trying to bend the truth**_

_**But the more I push** _

_**The more I'm pulling away…**_

The more he tried to disentangle himself from Max and the others, the more he was pulled into it…

**_'__Cause__ I'm_**

_**Lying my way from you**_

_**No, no turning back now…**_

He gave in. He let Liz use him, not knowing why. Eventually, she did tell him, making him swear never to tell Max. Then he had almost died in that cave with Alex…

Alex…

**_I __wanna__ be pushed aside_**

_**So let me go**_

_**No, no turning back now**_

_**Let me take back my life **_

_**I'd rather be all alone**_

_**No turning back now…**_

He couldn't stop his thoughts now, what Tess had done, what she had made him do, what Max had done to Liz, what Michael had done to Maria, all these things happened and it had changed him…

_**Anywhere on my own**_

_**'Cause I can see**_

_**No, no turning back now**_

_**The very worst part of you**_

_**Is me…**_

But Kyle couldn't be mad. Being in the alien thing had changed him, but what had it changed him from…

_**This isn't what I wanted to be**_

_**I never thought that what I said **_

_**Would have you running form me**_

_**Like this…**_

Kyle had changed. He had pretended to be someone he wasn't…

_**This isn't what I wanted to be**_

_**I never thought that what I said**_

_**Would have you running from me**_

_**Like this…**_

But it wasn't the person he became afterward that was the one pretending. It was the one he was before…

_**This isn't what I wanted to be**_

_**I never thought that what I said**_

_**Would have you running from me **_

_**Like this**_

_**YOU**_

_**No, no turning back now**_

**_I __wanna__ be pushed aside_**

_**So let me go…**_

He had had to go away for the summer after Max healed him. He found Buddha. He tried to use that to help center his life, because he was used to the lie…

_**No, no turning back now**_

_**Let me take back my life **_

_**I'd rather be all alone…**_

Kyle had felt all alone before, even though he was surrounded by friends. Max's healing had forced him to take back his life…

_**No turning back now**_

_**Anywhere on my own**_

_**'Cause I can see**_

_**No, no turning back now…**_

Sports were his life but only because he was good at it not because he loved it. His dad cheering him on, coaches cheering him on, friends cheering him on, it became a chore, not a passion, like it should have been…

_**The very worst part of you…**_

But he had pretended for so long, he found it hard to discover who he really was. At first, he thought the alien thing was the worst part about his life, but he knew that wasn't true. Pretending all those years, letting others make the choices for him, that was the worst part of him. Max had opened the door to his self discovery. He was grateful to all of them, even Tess. Max had opened his eyes, Isabel taught him to be confident, Michael was there with a sympathetic smile when his powers were out of whack in the beginning, and Tess had taught him to beware, because the packaging can be deceptive.

Maria may have taken a little longer to come around but Kyle had known for some time now…

_**The very worst part of you**_

_**IS ME!**_

He may have been changed, may have had bad things happen to him, but in the end, he had to admit, things were better this way. He had stopped pretending and was finally able to be himself.

The End.

Please Review:)


	6. Walk on Eggshells

**Wow, its been a while since I've written anything. i was trying to write some of my Red Eye fic, but i just can't seem to get the flow of the chapter to come out right. But since I've had this chapter simmering in my memory stick for a while I thought I better post it. It's Jesse's turn this time around. **

**And since Claddagh is the only one to review the last chapter, Claddagh gets the dedication for this chapter as well. **

**Come on people, I've seen my stats and I know there are others reading this. When I post the next chapter, which will feature Max, I will pick from all those who review this chapter and that person will get the next dedication. Will Claddagh get three in a row or will some other lucky reviewer unseat her/him? **

**Disclaimer:** The last time I checked all I owned were a few CD's and a slightly broken down car. Trust me, none of it's worth suing for.

**Category:** Jesse's POV

**Summary:** Its Christmas morning 2003. Isabel has told Jesse about her hybrid status six days beforehand. This is Jesse trying to come to terms with it.

**Author's Note:** By this time, everyone reading this should know I changed around things from the 3rd season.

**Author's Note 2:** The song is "Hit The Floor" by Linkin Park from their Meteora album. The story is day 9 of an 18 day period during Winter break 2003-2004 and is the sixth story of the series.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

**Meteora Part 6: Walk On Eggshells**

Jesse had been driving around since late last night. He had no particular destination in mind. He just took one turn after another, but he always seemed to end up back at home. So around midnight, he drove out of Roswell. He just had to get away, but what was he running from?

The truth.

Five days ago…Jesse looked at his watch…make that six days ago, Isabel took Jesse aside and told him she had been keeping a big secret from him. A huge secret. His wife of over two years was really an alien. Jesse laughed at first; he thought she was just playing some kind of joke on him.

_"Come on Isabel. What is this, some kind of game? It's kinda kinky." _

_"Jess, I'm serious here okay. I…am an alien, well, a hybrid anyway." _

_"A hybrid?"_

_"I'm only half alien. The ones who made me combined the DNA of who I used to be with the DNA of a suitable human donor."_

_Jesse couldn't stop himself from laughing. "A suitable human donor? Like from someone they 'abducted'?" _

_"No, a person with a certain genetic defect that allows the alien and human DNA to be combined." Jesse laughed even louder. _

_"Come on Iz. This is crazy. You really expect me to believe that you're an alien?"_

_"Fine…I was hoping that it wouldn't come to this…but you leave me no choice," Isabel told him, pulling up the sleeve of her t-shirt. "You need proof? Here it is…remember that day when I got shot outside of Meta-Chem, when we thought Max had been in that fire? We told you it was genetic research they were doing there and Max was trying to stop it…well, that was only half __true. They found out about us and the evil bitch who ran the company forced Max to heal her dying husband…I'll tell you that story later. Anyway, I really did get shot…only the bullet didn't just graze me…it went straight into my arm and hit the bone. I never removed it; I only healed the bone and the tissue around it." _

_"No way," Jesse said, shaking his head. "There's no way you could do that."_

_"Oh, really," Isabel responded. She raised her hand to her arm and it began to glow. She grimaced in pain. Jesse saw a small lump form on Isabel's arm. It got bigger until Isabel's very skin split open. A piece of metal fell out onto the floor. When he looked up at her arm, the skin was already closing up. When it was healed, Isabel leaned back in her chair, breathing heavily. _

_"Max is the healer…whenever I try to do it…it takes a lot out of me…And I can only do little things."_

_Jesse bent down to pick up the piece of metal and looked at it. It was all smashed on one side, but you could definitely tell it was a bullet. He felt his insides go numb. She was telling him the truth. He sat down next to her._

_"Tell me everything…from the beginning."_

And she did. He sat there for hours listening to everything she told him. It left him cold and confused. He walked around the next few days like a phantom. He went through the motions of life until a few hours ago.

At around 10 P.M. he and Isabel got into a huge fight. He walked out, got into his car, and took off. So, for the last several hours, Jesse had been driving around. He didn't know where to go, so he drove around aimlessly through the desert. He flipped on the radio, but as the music blasted in his ears, he remembered that his younger brother had come into town, borrowed his car, and managed to get a CD stuck in the radio. Jesse had been too preoccupied with Isabel to get it fixed. He tried to get the disk out, but was unsuccessful. He only managed to get it to forward to the end of the forth track. Jesse gave up and pulled over. He left the CD on. He just couldn't deal.

But as the steady beat of the fifth track began Jesse began to calm down. He closed his eyes and listened to the song…

_**There are just too many**_

_**Times that people**_

_**Have tried to look inside of me**_

_**Wondering what I think of you**_

_**And I protect you out of courtesy**_

_**Too many times that I've**_

_**Held on when I needed to push away**_

_**Afraid to say what was on my mind**_

_**Afraid to say what I need to say**_

Why had he never sensed anything before? Now that he thought about it, there was plenty of warning signs that should have told him that something was wrong.

_**Too many things that you've said about me**_

_**When I'm not around**_

_**You think having the upper hand**_

_**Means you've got to keep putting me down**_

_**But I've had too many stand-offs with you **_

_**It's about as much as I can stand**_

_**Just wait until the upper hand**_

_**Is mine**_

All the cut short conversations with Liz and Maria, when they were still there, was the first thing he should have noticed. One minute they'd be talking a mile a minute, the next they were stone cold silent. There had been that one time when Jesse heard Liz talking to Isabel, saying, "It's a good thing that Jesse doesn't remember any of it. That would have been a very bad way to end a honeymoon." He just thought, at the time, that Isabel must have told her about the fight and Liz was concerned about them maybe getting thrown out of the hotel. Now he knew the true meaning of her statement.

_**One minute you're on top**_

_**The next you're not**_

_**Watch it drop**_

_**Making your heart stop**_

_**Just before you hit the floor**_

_**One minute you're on top**_

_**The next you're not **_

_**Missed you shot**_

_**Making your heart stop**_

_**You think you won**_

_**And then it's all gone**_

Jesse had been on top of the world. He had a good job, a nice boss, a lovely wife, and a good apartment. Life was good…until the other foot dropped. Jesse just felt like everything important in his life was meaningless…gone.

_**So many people like me**_

_**Put so much trust in all your lies**_

_**So concerned with what you think**_

_**To just say what we feel inside **_

_**So many people like me **_

_**Walk on eggshells all day long**_

_**All I know is that all I want **_

_**Is to feel like I'm not stepped on**_

He believed her! That's what killed him. He completely bought it, hook, line, and sinker. She played the role of Isabel Evans to perfection. He trusted her and she betrayed him. He had tip-toed around her, and her around him, these last few days until he finally just snapped.

_**There are so many things you say**_

_**That make me feel you crossed the line**_

_**What goes up will surely fall **_

_**And I'm counting down the time**_

_**'Cause I've had so many stand-offs with you**_

_**It's about as much as I can stand**_

_**So I'm waiting until the upper hand **_

_**Is mine**_

He was so angry with her. She married him and it was now over two years that they had been together. She should have told him sooner about what she was. She should have told him before she said 'I do.'

_**One minute you're on top**_

_**The next you're not**_

_**Watch it drop**_

_**Making your heart stop**_

_**Just before you hit the floor**_

Why couldn't she have told him sooner? "_You know why_," his inner voice told him…

_**One minute you're on top**_

_**The next you're not **_

_**Missed you shot**_

_**Making your heart stop**_

_"Would you have still married her? She was afraid you wouldn't love her anymore."_

_**You think you won**_

_**And then it's all gone**_

_"Was she so wrong to believe that? Look at how you've taken it so far…silence, indifference, and then anger. And you're surprised she didn't tell you straight off the bat?"_

_**I know I'll never trust a single thing you say**_

Jesse would now question if Isabel was being honest with him. He'd probably second-guess everything she told him for a while.

_**You knew your lies would divide us**_

_**But you lied anyway**_

Could he really blame her for keeping this from him? He put himself in her shoes. Would he have done the same thing? Probably.

_**And all the lies have got you floating**_

_**Up above us all**_

Isabel kept this above his head and out of reach. He couldn't blame her though…not really…

_**But what goes up has got to fall**_

And fall she did. She fell big time, but he was sorry that he didn't take it better…

_**One minute you're on top**_

_**The next you're not**_

_**Watch it drop**_

_**Making your heart stop**_

_**Just before you hit the floor**_

_**One minute you're on top**_

_**The next you're not **_

_**Missed you shot**_

_**Making your heart stop**_

_**You think you won**_

_**And then it's all gone**_

Isabel fell hard, but Jesse knew that he'd help her up. He may have been angry with her, even hurt by her, but Jesse knew one thing with absolute certainty…he was still in love with Isabel.

_**And then it's all gone**_

What they had wasn't gone, deep down he knew he still wanted to be with her.

_**And then it's all gone**_

He had said for better or for worse. Right now was worse, but later, in time, things would get better.

_**And then it's all gone**_

The Isabel he knew still existed. It wasn't like she wasn't who she had always been…it was just…now she was this too.

_**Now it's all gone.**_

Jesse set back out for home. He knew it would take some time, but if Isabel could forgive him for his earlier outburst, then they could begin to work on making things right between them again.

As he drove home the sun began to rise. As the bright warm rays hit Jesse's face he smiled. It was Christmas morning. His cold night of anger and blame was over and the sun dawned with the promise of a bright future ahead.

The End…of chapter 6.


End file.
